Vivat Libertas

This is a very big trigger warning for suicide. Now that I've warned you, read on at your own risk. I really hate to do yet another suicide post, but it's come to my attention that people still need educating about it despite the amount of information out there. Hopefully this will just be short and sweet. Suicide is selfish.   Not true. People who kill themselves aren't selfish, they cannot bear life and have heavy burdens to carry (whether external or internal). I would argue that it's more  selfish to try and keep them alive without respecting them and trying to help them. Contemplating suicide is weak; people who kill themselves are weak.  Untrue. Firstly, the claim that contemplating suicide is weak is the claim that thinking about a certain action shows weakness, and how does that make sense?! Not to mention taking your own life is much, much harder than it looks due to little things like self-preservation, and that people don't normally kill themselves...

If you somehow managed to miss the big trigger warning in the title, this post mentions and discusses suicide and life after a suicide attempt. Do not read if this material triggers, upsets, or offends you. If you keep going, I gave you fair warning. This is hopefully the last time I will post about anything related to my personal suicidality; I may write more about suicide in general in the future if I feel like it. Otherwise, you guys are probably safe from my egotistical blabbering about how I botched my death and managed to somehow hang on for another year. I was probably supposed to be doing something today - more singing, actually. I feel guilty that I'm not doing it, but having just come back from a school choir trip, I don't really feel up to singing out. This in no way helps to alleviate the feeling that I'm a terrifically lazy good-for-nothing twat. And n o, I'm not just saying this for attention - I'm saying this because it's honestly how I feel a...

Discusses suicide. If you find this triggering or unpleasant or if you simply can't deal with it, I suggest you skip over this post. Why talk about this? Why bare my soul to an internet that at best doesn't care and at worst would rip me to shreds for it? Why don't I sweep a horrible, shameful thing like suicide (sarcasm alert) under the carpet and pretend it never happened? Why don't I show some decorum and not seek attention? Because I posted about attempting suicide and about the six-month anniversary of the suicide attempt that changed my life and because I'm trying to be open and honest about this sort of thing...well, I'll be honest, I've not really talked about it to the people I know in real life lest they judge me. This came as more than a bit of a shock to them and in large part I have been proved right about being judged. Nothing and no-one is immune to criticism, and this is no exception. I was imperfectly aware of what I was doing when I...

This is one of the most honest and, to me at least, one of the most important things I've ever written. I really couldn't give a shit whether it makes you feel uncomfortable or not. It does contain honest discussions of suicide and the fallout from suicide attempts, so this is the closest thing you'll get to a trigger warning, as well as inane ramblings and tearful thank-yous. It's Saturday, the 14th of January, and I'm quietly commemorating the six-month anniversary of fucking up my suicide attempt. Yes, you read that right. This blog post explains how I came to be suicidal in the first place, so if you're curious I suggest you read it. Not being suicidal anymore felt like being washed clean of all the hate and pain and what was left was - well, it was hope, relief, dare I even say happiness. Waking up in the morning and actually wanting to live was the most beautiful emotion I've ever felt. It's an odd thing to say, but sometimes I'm happy I f...

Yeah, I'm a Twitter addict...and this time I found #RIPSophie trending. I don't know if I should put a warning on this post, but it discusses bullying and suicide. If those count as triggers, this post has them. (You can never be too careful.) The story goes that a Wanted fan called Sophie ( @JaythanILoveYou ) killed herself over bullying. Another story goes that she hasn't actually killed herself and the story is fake. I want to say this: even if the whole thing's a hoax, that in no way mitigates the fact that too many - I don't have the numbers to hand, but it's too many - teens actually do  kill themselves because of bullying, and that it's a real, despicable problem. Faking a suicide - and I really don't know why anyone would do that, not because I'm naive but because it's a hell of a lot of work and brings a lot of negative press - may be vile, but it pales in comparison to the vileness of driving someone to take their own life. Even ...