First off, an apology for me not having blogged very much at all. I've had exams and things and some personal stuff has been getting in the way, so blogging has become an even lower priority than it already was. Sorry about that, to the few people who read my stuff.
Anyway...I have some ideas for this post, but no coherent plan. My brain's been in a bit of a weird place and doesn't seem to enjoy working properly - which isn't the greatest thing on earth when you're sitting exams that will play a part in determining your future.
I suppose it was all triggered because of my strange and rather cool relationship with conspiracy theories. On the one hand, I don't trust the mainstream media due to shoddy journalism and its giving bigotry and idiocy a place to run rampant. On the other hand, I always, always check claims made by "alternative" sources (which range from trustworthy to absolutely, laugh-out-loud-and-hold-head-in-hands ludicrous) purely because my common sense needs help telling fact from bullshit and because I've seen some terrible, terrible examples of cherry-picking and general logic failures - not that the mainstream media doesn't have problems with those as well. And really, I'm just...I'm just angry. I forsook the mainstream media long ago, except for The Economist (and I even read that very, very critically) due to it being generally quite an intelligent, albeit ideologically misguided in part, magazine. Perhaps I shouldn't have expected that much of any media outlet - but hope is devilishly hard to kill.
And another thing. I've questioned the mainstream media before, quite frequently. I openly disagree with it and don't care about being ostracised that much. But I question alternative sources, too, as part of my scepticism. And I'm angry that this questioning might get me labelled a sheep. At once more and less than angry. Due to a lot of things - tiredness, stress, sadness - I sometimes simply no longer have the energy to care about social norms.
So here's me getting tiredly ready to put on the sheep costume and baa, because I honestly don't care what people think of me any more. I've only got so much energy left and I'd rather spend it educating myself and doing decent things for the world, or trying to, than on worrying what other people think about me. I don't believe the mainstream media, so I'm a crank. I don't always believe the sources people throw at me, so I'm a sheep.
Fuck labels, I'll do what I want. My quest for truth is my own and I'll pledge loyalty to know one. Call me what you want, but it won't even inch close to the true me, whoever that person is.