Vivat Libertas

This world is not my world. It probably sounds like a really stupid statement to make - and it is. I'm not going to pretend that it isn't. Every pretentious, jumped-up teenager who can't figure out a way to deal with their emotional problems says that, and if anything I'm at an age where I should be moving on from that and taking my place amongst the legions of the normal. That doesn't stop me from feeling that way. Ever since I was old enough to interact with society, I've had problems doing so. I'm an introvert; interacting with all but a few people drains me of energy. I'm shy; I have problems approaching others. I'm different , and not in the good way - not in the way of that one eccentric person with rainbow hair and a monocle who makes people have epiphanies just by talking to them. I'm different in the way of that one weird kid at school whom everyone picked on. I'm not really some special-wecial snowflake, just a bit of a frea...

(Yes, this was the only picture I could find. Yes, I am perfectly aware that it's shit. Yes, I am perfectly aware I haven't posted in weeks, and I apologise. I've not really had much that I want to talk about.) Don't forget to love. That was something I noticed a wise person said not too long ago - but if it's as wise a piece of advice as I think it is (and I might be wrong) other people have already come up with it. I'll say it now - and frankly I'm really not in the mood to ponder just how terrible of a person this makes me; in fact I have trouble finding the motivation and energy to give a fuck - it's not easy advice to follow. Or maybe that's just me. The fact that I felt like my heart was breaking when I first read this advice probably did not help. The fact that remembering to love involves working through all the bitterness, all the pain, all the prejudice, and being strong enough to love all  on top of that probably does not help either...

Quite a few people have said to me that humans are corrupt, greedy, hormonal, irrational, incapable of running their own lives properly, and that therefore they either need to be looked after or we must put aside grand dreams of change. There are probably a million and one views in between those two which I haven't looked at, and which I probably should, but I haven't found them and therefore can't discuss them. As a liberal, this horrifies me. Fine. I should adapt my opinions to the facts, not the other way around. Yet I genuinely do believe that people are good and that communities are capable of changing for the better, even if it's hard and even if we never quite manage utopia. Why do I believe people are good? Short answer: I don't. Long answer: I believe that people are stupid, corrupt, greedy and cruel, but also that they are good, kind, altruistic and upstanding. Each person is a mix of "good" and "evil" (I don't like these terms - ...