Vivat Libertas

This post discusses self-harm. You have been warned. I spend a disturbing amount of time in the company of people slightly younger than me (I'm 18). Not much  younger, of course - 15, 16. Old enough to be articulate and form ideas about the world, but not old enough to see as much of it as I have. I really need to get off Tumblr. Anyway, if you remember being 15 or 16, you probably remember being very confused, insecure and angsty. (If you don't, you're either lying to yourself or you lived in a happier time and now I'm jealous of you because I spent my early- and mid-teens being suicidally depressed.) Some of you probably remember showing your angst to others in some pretty horrible ways. I'll now make an obligatory digression so I can say something very important: if you are considering self-harm, I have been there. I have looked at my body and thought "how utterly disgusting, I'm such a poser, I need more scars". I have looked at my body and...

(Yes, this was the only picture I could find. Yes, I am perfectly aware that it's shit. Yes, I am perfectly aware I haven't posted in weeks, and I apologise. I've not really had much that I want to talk about.) Don't forget to love. That was something I noticed a wise person said not too long ago - but if it's as wise a piece of advice as I think it is (and I might be wrong) other people have already come up with it. I'll say it now - and frankly I'm really not in the mood to ponder just how terrible of a person this makes me; in fact I have trouble finding the motivation and energy to give a fuck - it's not easy advice to follow. Or maybe that's just me. The fact that I felt like my heart was breaking when I first read this advice probably did not help. The fact that remembering to love involves working through all the bitterness, all the pain, all the prejudice, and being strong enough to love all  on top of that probably does not help either...

I will try very hard not to make this a piece of so-called "inspirational" bullshit. I myself can't stand that stuff; I can see through platitudes like broken windows - full of holes. Having a low bullshit tolerance and an almost unhealthy attraction to the authentic and relatable don't help either. Anyway, I suppose I should get to the point - and my point is that I have faith in you. OK, I'll admit it, if I were reading this article I'd start fucking laughing. Why? Because...well...I don't even have very much faith in myself. I'm a socially inept teenage girl who spends far too much time on the internet and considers herself so far down on any social scale she probably fell off the bottom and is still going strong. That's not exactly inspiring of faith. Even when I do  try and do something useful (and right now I'm being a bit of a lazy shit because I'm not occupying, marching, or trying to organise something) I don't feel particu...

In my own defence, I never thought I'd be writing this...I've never cared much for love or lust. Thing is, this got to me. This was written by a girl my own age. I don't want to be a sentimental sap and stand up for love and romance, but I think that she's out of her head. Her message is quoted below. This troper's very first brush with crushing resulted in   Mind Rape /   Break The Cutie , even though she technically didn't even have a crush on the boy in question. For years I actively avoided unnecessary contact with any boys near my age for fear of what would happen if I   did   like one of them and they found out. Needless to say, I may have a more biased opinion on the matter than I should. The fact that all my friends dabble in the hopeless world of dating and, as the   Team Mom /   Cool Big Sis   with no romantic life whatsoever, I'm usually the shoulder/ chest to cry on   doesn't help this view.   Niether does the fact that 95% of...