The End of the World

Even when the world's about to end,
there still have to be cute cat pictures.

This is a load of pseudo-philosophical wank because ends, particularly ends that you can't do anything about, inspire a lot of angst in people. Well, in me at least.

I don't actually believe that the world is going to end today, being as I am sceptical of such matters - and if the world does end, no-one will be around to read my stupid blog anyway, so technically I could put whatever crap I wanted here as an end-of-the-world special.

Terrible idea, that, but I'm running with it.

The thing is, as shitty as the world is, I don't want it to end - just like that - bam - over. As much as I've said in the past that I want to commit suicide, I don't want to die right now, not when things might actually be looking up, and not when I haven't yet lived.

That's another thing. I'm not even seventeen yet. I've done sweet fuck all with my life, because what teenager does?! The years pass slowly for us; we spend most of our time at school, bunking school, working, drinking, partying, getting high, embroiling ourselves in petty drama...Much like the adult world, to be honest, but adults hide their pettiness better. Most of us think we've got a long life ahead of us and don't have a clue what to do with it. In any case, we're overworked - doing well in any discipline requires time and effort that leaves you with very little leisure time on your hands, or even time to do something actually important and useful like changing the world.

In short, I've done nothing, as have most people my age, because we were too busy going through a process that we were told prepares us to do something, anything, but mostly slaving away in a petty, meaningless white-collar job. An apocalypse completely robs us, and anyone younger than us, of the potential to do something, because, you know...we'll all be dead. It robs everyone of the potential to do something to improve our situation. That said, there won't be any situation to improve so maybe it doesn't matter so much.

I suppose I'm just pissed off that if the world actually ended, so many lives would be endangered by something none of us could actually stop - and all proposed ways that the world is going to end have serious flaws (at least, the ones I've quickly looked up). In other words, should the apocalypse happen today we've got no idea and no warning of how it's going to do so (and any event that could end life on Earth as we know it can probably be observed and predicted, so not knowing the mechanism or knowing there are serious flaws in any explanation is a bad sign for any proposed apocalypse). Shit happens, then you die abruptly and with no say in it - which is what bothers me. I can accept death; there's no way I want to live forever. I know I'm going to die, maybe of cancer, maybe of some heart disease, maybe of something completely different - but I'm going to die. I'm not going to moan about that because it's a fact of life, one that I can't do anything to change and one that I don't want to change for myself. But the one thing I ask is that people get to choose the time, place and manner of their death. And not being able to do that - just having things finish, like that - is what makes an apocalypse so upsetting for me.