My Bisexual Agenda

The bisexual pride flag
I can't believe this shit.

It's the 21st century. We're over a decade into the third millennium. And people are still cowering in fear of the so-called gay know, that thing where suddenly sheep are going to glow in the dark, trees are going to grow faces and ducks are going to take over the world if anyone but a cis man and a cis woman express sexual attraction towards and love for each other.

Big chocolate chip cookie
As delicious as these ally cookies
look, I'm not handing them out today.
Now, I could go on and on about the plight of LGBTQQIA people all over the world and how horribly even the most privileged of us are oppressed, but the audience I'm trying to reach - cis straight people who are probably grossed out by the thought of all this - likely don't care about people they think are unnatural, can't imagine what's involved, or think it's justified. (Firstly, before cis straight people everywhere start yelling about how I've hurt their feelings, I know not all of you are like this, but I'd like to focus on those of you who are rather than handing out ally cookies. Secondly, I am trying to explicitly aim this at people who think LGBTQQIA people are gross and evil. I'd hate you guys, but I can't bring myself to dehumanise you with that hate, so I'm trying to get you to understand one point of view in the hope that said understanding leads you to not try and kill me for my sexual orientation. Yes, it's very much a minimum requirement for being a decent human being, but it's a start.)

So instead, I'm going to focus on myself. Not the greatest choice when you're a white cis bisexual, but you cut your coat according to your cloth and all that when trying to humanise a struggle. Personally, I'm a mix of anger, fear and...well...boredom. I'm angry because I don't understand why not being straight and cis should mean that people all over the world are killed and tormented for something that is deeply personal and utterly blameless. I'm scared because I know that most straight cis people aren't particularly positive towards LGBTQQIA people (by the way, demanding proof of queerness and setting your own standards for it makes you a very, very shitty straight ally). And to be honest, I'm bored because my way of fighting against straight cis oppression - talking about it and highlighting it - involves me saying the same basic shit over and over again. It's like fighting the Hydra, but worse because I've ruled out the option of cutting off people's heads and setting them on fire.

Now, I can't speak for anyone else here, so here's my bisexual agenda. Often I feel...well...a bit wrong in my existence, because I'm straight-passing (even though I'm too queer for the straight crowd), but on with it anyway so you can see what my agenda is really like:
Everyone loves cats

  • Get decent grades in my studies
  • Go to university
  • Gain a PhD
  • Become a physics researcher
  • Spend as much of the rest of my life as possible with my partner, because I love him
  • Live in France for at least one year
  • CATS
Apart from the whole physics research thing (which is a personal quirk), that's pretty normal, isn't it? I don't want to rape your kids or work my bisexual devil vagina magic to turn your sexuality inside out (how you even do that to an abstract noun I don't know). I just want to have a fulfilled and hopefully happy life doing the things I love doing and not getting shit for loving men and women both.

I know this isn't everyone's idea of what a world where sexual orientation and gender identity don't get you killed looks like, but this is mine.

I like the idea of being able to walk down the street and meet friends for coffee. Turns out they have new partners. One friend's just gotten into a same-sex relationship, one is in a relationship with a genderqueer person. One is asexual and we totally support this friend. And all that's completely cool, in every circle - not just among lesbian, gay, pansexual or bisexual people, not just among trans* and genderqueer people, not just among asexual people. I like the idea of people supporting each other and being happy for each other, not demanding proof of some kind of magical queer card or backing away from you like you're going to hurt them.

I want my friend, my actual real-life friend, to be able to hold hands with his boyfriend in the street and not get attacked or catcalled. I want a younger me to have the courage to ask for sex education that isn't so incredibly heteronormative. I want the next generation, and the young adolescents of this one, to be able to grow comfortably into their sexuality and gender identity without fearing discrimination from the establishment. I want an end to the killing, the bullying, the torture, the corrective rape, the discrimination, the snide disapproval, the insinuation that being anything but straight and cis is an abomination, and I want approval and acceptance of every sexuality and gender identity in its place.

That's my real agenda. I don't want to hurt you - I want you to stop hurting us.