Three Years of...What?

So. Three years.

I'm sitting here writing this feeling absolutely knackered and not in the mood to write, to be honest. I haven't had the time or inclination to do so. Not for a very long time.

My depression's picked up and I now function much better. My life's picked up a lot too: I'm a lot more outgoing and social despite an anxiety condition that means spending too long in loud places makes me agitated. I have more friends now, through poking my head out of the shelter and self-contained society that is my school. I'm going steady with my boyfriend and just saw him off at the station after a weekend enjoying Christmassy shit in London, seeing Jeeves and Wooster (it's hilarious), and going on bus adventures.

And, of course, it's my final year at school, which means work and anxiety over going to university - though I've got an offer from Manchester. So between working hard and having an actual social life, I don't know how much time I'll really have to blog - but I know it's not much.

I've also been changing. A lot. I've fallen out of love with a lot of things I used to adore and found little to take their place, except my own lights - which are low and dim. And I have to force myself to change and reflect, even though I don't know what I'm changing into.

So the past is a little more comforting to think back on.

November: Capitalism and Democracy - it is literally just under a year since I wrote this; it's rude and unpolished, but sincere
December: Ideologies and Ideas - something I articulated here and in many other posts, that we must think for ourselves instead of trying to fit everything to an ideology, and something I still believe today
January: Education is Liberation - on how education is only bad for people with an agenda to push
February: Peaceful Resistance - my articulation of why violence does not make everything better
March: Science and the military-industrial complex - why scientists are not all evil money-grubbing corporate whores out to genetically modify your children into robo-soldiers or something (interestingly, when meeting people who also want to study physics I've also found a lot of socially conscious thinking)
April: I'm Not Dead, I'm Hibernating - shamefully, the only thing I wrote that month owing to work
May: On self-care - broken image links, but hopefully a salient point
June: Why Women Get Angry - if you are a man and genuinely want to find out why some women get angry and offended over things you consider inconsequential, please read this
July: A Voice for the Voiceless? - something about privilege and speaking for others that it took me a long time to find the courage to publish
August: Shamefully, fuck all.
September: Choosing Life - on why choosing to live is more difficult than it seems for suicidal people
October: How to piss off depressives - don't say these things to depressed people, and why saying them is hurtful, oppressive and just plain wrong