My life should not be politicised.

In recent decades it has become fashionable for people to declare their identities political. Quite what this means I'm too sick to ponder at the time of writing (I have a horrible chest infection that makes my intercostal muscles ache and I can't walk very far without getting out of breath, which is really annoying because normally I'm reasonably fit), but it generally involves getting very angry and showing off how radical you are.

Well, bully for you. I should hope that all this politicisation of identity is getting us somewhere, but for me it's actually quite painful to deal with.

I am bisexual, mentally ill, an immigrant and a woman. All of these identities get politicised in different ways.

Because I am bisexual - because I am not straight - I deviate from a norm that is very much cisgender and heterosexual (for example, if you think about most couples represented in the media, they're a man and a woman, and when walking down the street one might tend to assume that a stranger is straight). I get (mostly straight) people asking me to prove that I'm really bisexual (I didn't know that I needed an identity card, sorry) or talking shit about bisexuals and other MOGAI people while I stand there quietly thinking "shit, they hate me". I don't like feeling scared to come out, because it's not a one-time thing - it's an ongoing process as you meet lots of new people and pretending to be something I'm not is really sucky. I don't like the fact that in some places people can refuse to hire me just because of my sexual orientation, and that it's probably not safe for me to go to some countries. I don't like that me talking about my experiences and saying that I'm proud of being bisexual, and that other people shouldn't have to face oppression for their sexuality, is considered to be promoting homosexuality and a danger to young, innocent straight kids (because it's not like young MOGAI people matter too and need support and guidance...). I don't like that it's difficult for MOGAI people to get sex and relationships education because most of it's targeted at straight people. I don't like being called a bitchy queer, either, but I'll do it as long as there are things to bitch about that need to be fixed.

Because I am mentally ill, I have to tangle with various systems (some of which become less accessible if you're poor or have physical disabilities, for example) to get the help I need and convince them that I'm "sick enough", because even doctors sometimes rely on stereotypes. I look around and stay quiet while my peers talk shit about how mentally ill people are all weak or violent, or think that mental illness isn't real and it's just an excuse for me to slack off. I get scared to ask for extensions on work because I don't want people thinking I'm lazy. I used to be scared to even ask for help because I thought it made me weak.

Because I am an immigrant, lots of people over here don't consider me to be a proper British citizen. They think I'm inferior to them, that I'm taking their jobs and straining their services. They don't want to live next to me because they're scared of me. They think I'm a criminal who should be booted out of the country. (My criminal record is clean.) They're perfectly happy to say xenophobic things to my face and make it clear that I'm not welcome here.

Because I am a woman, some people still think I'm supposed to be a good little woman in the kitchen and not have opinions on things (silly girl, opinions are only for men!). Some people still want me to conform to their expectations of what a woman should be like, and get pissy when I remind them that I'm not a talking doll - I've got my own hopes and dreams and life to live, and I don't plan on spending it trying to please everyone by living up to contradictory standards of femininity. There are some people who still complain when I tell them that I'm going to wait to make my mind up on whether I want to be a mother or not and that I'm very unlikely to ever get married, because they think that my world should be limited to outdated gender roles. There are even people who complain about me doing a "boy subject" at university, or who would try to screw me out of equal pay for equal work or who would discriminate against me because they think I should drop out of work and have kids. (Sadly, these things do still happen.)

Anyway, the point of this is not to complain about how oppressed I am - I know millions of others have it worse. The point of this is to complain that I just want to do science, pet cats and live a long and happy life with my loved ones, but all this political shit gets in the way. And that people fetishise all this political shit getting in the way, that people go out of their way to seek this political shit...Well, different people want different things. And I'm happy that there are people out there fighting to change the world for the better. But at times I get a little irked, because it can seem like they just treat it as a game. Like they dress up as political heroes for a few hours every day, get angry, and then take their anger off like a costume and go home to pizza and TV.

I don't get that luxury. Well, I get the pizza and the TV, but I don't get to play dress-up revolutionary because my life never stops being politicised. And if someone came to me and said "I want to be political, let me take your struggles" I would say "Yes". Because I'm sick of being the one doing the struggling. You don't get a break. It burns you out in the end, unless you know how to cut yourself off from things - and when you do that people will rag on you for being too apathetic.

So I would very much like a future in which nobody's life is politicised, in which we all accept each other's differences, in which nobody has to struggle just to be considered a person. Such a struggle eats you alive.

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