Apples on the tree

Yes, I am actually working on Summer Holiday and not just sitting on my arse doing nothing, but I felt I had to write something about this.

Recently I found HBI (Heartless Bitches International), which for those of you who don't know is a pretty damn awesome site by strong-minded women for strong-minded women (and, by extension, pretty much everyone else if they have the strength of will to read it). I'm glad that not all of my sex are dishrags and I like reading their opinions, but sometimes I have to disagree, or I have to explain my points.

Like now.

Take this link. For those of you who can't be bothered to open a new tab or window, what it basically says is "if you can't get a boyfriend, don't salve your ego and stop thinking you need a man to be complete". More specifically, what I take issue with is their stance that "if you want a boyfriend and can't get one, you must obviously be a stupid, needy vagina on legs who can't understand that women can live independently of men".

To those of you reading this (if there are any of you) and thinking "this person is obviously an anti-feminist who can't conceive of women wanting to be alone and probably can't get laid either", please read on.

I can't speak for grown women, but among teenage girls there can be intense pressure to have a boyfriend or have sex. As a boyfriendless virgin surrounded by girls going out and getting with boys all the time, I started to wonder what was wrong with me and I felt very, very alone because none of my peers would support me - the girls all disagreed with my views (they thought I was pretty old-fashioned for only wanting sex in a loving relationship, for example) and I didn't feel comfortable talking about it with my male friends. And God forbid, in a society where a girl is nothing without a boy, that I should stay single and feel comfortable about it! Long story short, although I've stayed single quite happily and I don't chase after every unattached boy (I have a will of steel, I'm unfuckably ugly and strong-minded, and I've only met three boys smart enough for me, none of whom I am interested in), I still get pangs about not being normal or about being inferior to other girls. And guess what? The other single girls on the top of the tree probably feel like that too. Like it or not, in your teenaged years, when you're young and stupid, peer pressure gets to you and it fucks you up inside. I act violently and hole up for days because I can't deal with it or talk about it to anyone, and with bad effects like that, the people under that pressure need all the help we can get. Of course the best solution would be for everyone to accept each other and stop imposing arbitrary norms on people, but humanity are morons and won't do that - so for now we need to settle for the apples on the tree.

We're not stupid, and we're not needy. We can live our own lives and we have the dignity not to drunkenly put out for every guy that comes along. It's just that sometimes we need a little moral support.