Being feminine doesn't mean being a doormat
Ah, yet another article from HBI. This one talks about how women are expected to act like doormats to get men, which is something I've had experience with and which, as an intelligent girl respected by males as something more than a sex object (I have quite a lot of male friends, and more male acquaintances who won't tell me to get in the kitchen), really pisses me off.
What also pisses me off is the article's use of the word "feminine" as a stand-in for "spineless wimp". And no, putting it in fancy pink text does not help. Being too lazy to think up new terms is not an excuse, whilst we're on this topic. And I believe the English language has many words to describe the kind of brainless bimbo in the article: "vapid", "vacuous", "spoilt"...I could go on.
Being feminine means being like a woman. Being feminine, and by extension being like a woman, does NOT mean having to act like a shallow, worthless, mentally retarded slip of a human being. It means knowing you are a female and being comfortable with that.
On occasions in the past I have said I am ugly. Part of that is because I wear glasses, tie my hair back in a ponytail, don't bother with makeup, and wear unflattering clothes. This is because I go to school and it's not a fashion show, and because I do performing arts and the dress code is simple black clothes - which means I can wear things which flatter my body, but not fancy, sexy numbers. If I have enough time and energy, I can put on contacts, do my hair nicely, put on some eyeshadow and lipstick (as a general rule, I don't wear much makeup because it's too much effort and because everything shows up very strongly on my very pale skin - which I like quite a lot, thanks very much), and wear dresses and high heels. Then I look passable, if ridiculously short even in heels. Yes, I can provide evidence to support my case by putting up photos. No, I will not do so unless expressly asked...but I digress. As a woman, I also like pretty clothes and I like shopping for them, and I'm not ashamed to admit that.
In case you haven't noticed, this does not make me a brainless, shallow, pathetic rag. I also like reading, writing and studying, and I subscribe to magazines like The Economist and National Geographic rather than Vogue. In fact, I prefer those activities: one of the reasons I look fuck-ugly most of the time is because studying and getting a decent education comes above looking pretty to get laid. This does not mean that in order to be a Real Woman, I have to reject anything that could possibly be even the slightest bit girly. I like shopping because I like doing things with my friends and because I like wearing nice clothes - NOT because I have nothing better to do with my life and running up insanely huge bills is fun. I like putting on dresses and high heels once in a while because it makes me feel a little bit glamorous and special - NOT because the only thing I live for is male attention. Just because I like to feel sexy sometimes doesn't mean it's the only thing of any value in my life.
Part of being a well-balanced woman, I believe, is being comfortable with yourself whatever you do. It shouldn't be shameful to like a bit of the girlier things in life once in a while if you balance them with the more intellectual ones, and it's not a sign of weakness - it's a sign of being a whole person.
What also pisses me off is the article's use of the word "feminine" as a stand-in for "spineless wimp". And no, putting it in fancy pink text does not help. Being too lazy to think up new terms is not an excuse, whilst we're on this topic. And I believe the English language has many words to describe the kind of brainless bimbo in the article: "vapid", "vacuous", "spoilt"...I could go on.
Being feminine means being like a woman. Being feminine, and by extension being like a woman, does NOT mean having to act like a shallow, worthless, mentally retarded slip of a human being. It means knowing you are a female and being comfortable with that.
On occasions in the past I have said I am ugly. Part of that is because I wear glasses, tie my hair back in a ponytail, don't bother with makeup, and wear unflattering clothes. This is because I go to school and it's not a fashion show, and because I do performing arts and the dress code is simple black clothes - which means I can wear things which flatter my body, but not fancy, sexy numbers. If I have enough time and energy, I can put on contacts, do my hair nicely, put on some eyeshadow and lipstick (as a general rule, I don't wear much makeup because it's too much effort and because everything shows up very strongly on my very pale skin - which I like quite a lot, thanks very much), and wear dresses and high heels. Then I look passable, if ridiculously short even in heels. Yes, I can provide evidence to support my case by putting up photos. No, I will not do so unless expressly asked...but I digress. As a woman, I also like pretty clothes and I like shopping for them, and I'm not ashamed to admit that.
In case you haven't noticed, this does not make me a brainless, shallow, pathetic rag. I also like reading, writing and studying, and I subscribe to magazines like The Economist and National Geographic rather than Vogue. In fact, I prefer those activities: one of the reasons I look fuck-ugly most of the time is because studying and getting a decent education comes above looking pretty to get laid. This does not mean that in order to be a Real Woman, I have to reject anything that could possibly be even the slightest bit girly. I like shopping because I like doing things with my friends and because I like wearing nice clothes - NOT because I have nothing better to do with my life and running up insanely huge bills is fun. I like putting on dresses and high heels once in a while because it makes me feel a little bit glamorous and special - NOT because the only thing I live for is male attention. Just because I like to feel sexy sometimes doesn't mean it's the only thing of any value in my life.
Part of being a well-balanced woman, I believe, is being comfortable with yourself whatever you do. It shouldn't be shameful to like a bit of the girlier things in life once in a while if you balance them with the more intellectual ones, and it's not a sign of weakness - it's a sign of being a whole person.
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