I have faith in you.

I will try very hard not to make this a piece of so-called "inspirational" bullshit. I myself can't stand that stuff; I can see through platitudes like broken windows - full of holes. Having a low bullshit tolerance and an almost unhealthy attraction to the authentic and relatable don't help either.

Anyway, I suppose I should get to the point - and my point is that I have faith in you.

OK, I'll admit it, if I were reading this article I'd start fucking laughing. Why? Because...well...I don't even have very much faith in myself. I'm a socially inept teenage girl who spends far too much time on the internet and considers herself so far down on any social scale she probably fell off the bottom and is still going strong. That's not exactly inspiring of faith. Even when I do try and do something useful (and right now I'm being a bit of a lazy shit because I'm not occupying, marching, or trying to organise something) I don't feel particularly great. I'm a bit of a wreck...well, a lot of a wreck sometimes, but I don't really want to talk about that.

Right, self-pity over...I did that not because I want loads of compliments, but because that's pretty much exactly how I feel when people tell me they have faith in me. I'm not even the most self-critical person I know. This "convincing you people I have a good reason to have faith in you" thing is going to be hard, very hard...I'll do my best anyway.

Misanthropy does not help. Honestly, my misanthropy is one of my most prominent traits, and chances are, if you're reading this I probably think you're full of shit. Maybe I've made a snarky quip about your clothes or, more likely, openly mused that I want to press ALL the buttons and bring about the fucking apocalypse.

Well, so far I hate everyone, myself included...Not great for getting you to believe there's something good about you, is it? And it doesn't help that I tend to be quite pessimistic.

No amount of pessimism, though, will make up for my experiences - and those experiences with people, maybe with you, are why I chose to stay alive. You see, as much as I gripe and grumble about humanity, I try and assume that most of you are misguided rather than malicious, and it doesn't hurt that I see a hell of a lot of genuinely good people around me - not the kind that hand tea and cakes out while decrying the state of the youth today, but the kind who leave home, job, life, security to do something good for the world. Were I older, stronger, more independent, a better person, I'd be with them.

I have faith in you because those people are not superhuman; they are regular, flawed human beings. This isn't me being proud or arrogant, this is me stating a simple truth. I have faith in you because I have seen people grow and change from judgemental into full-fledged humanists and freedom fighters. I know it can be done. I know anyone reading this has the power to do it. And I hope that some will.

It probably doesn't matter much to you, I know, that a stranger on the internet essentially thinks you're full of shit but also thinks you can change that. Apathy is a natural reaction I seem to be unnaturally bad with. But - if it does matter - experience shows that people can grow and change for the better. Chances are you're one of those people (and seriously, do us all a favour and get better at computing classical probability, will you?).


  1. Carpe diem young lady - you clearly care and you articulate that clearly - you are on your journey of discovery, so discover away. You will soon find yourself and your path. Play less Wagner and Bach - it will enhane your likelihood of being more cheerful;) I see you everytime I check in to twitter @beingei and will continue to follow. Be well and spread your fledgling wings - people do hear you but are not good listeners coz most are stupid- you do not do stupid - more practice needed.j


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