Girl language, as riffed by me
Basically, you know the "girl language" likes on Facebook? They piss me off, because they're the exact opposite of everything I'd do and they encourage a kind of weird clinginess which I don't like in people. Keep in mind I'm a teenage girl - the exact demographic they're talking about. Granted, I'm one hell of a weird teenage girl, but having thought my actions through more than most of my peers, I've come to some rather different conclusions. So basically, this is the guide to me not being a total idiot.
Me-language:
If I don't text you...
...it's not because I'm waiting for you to text me. It's because I don't really text much, and you're better off with an e-mail, a phone call, a message on Facebook or (best of all) a face-to-face meeting.
If I'm mad...
...for the love of whatever deity you worship, don't follow me when I storm out of the room in a blind rage. Let me cool down for 45 minutes and talk to me when I'm not hopping mad.
If I push or hit you...
...grabbing me is about the worst thing you can do, since you'll probably end up stabbed in the face or something equally nasty. Drop me, run like hell, and wait for 45 minutes to come back.
If I'm quiet...
...don't ask me what's wrong, because that'll just irritate me. Instead, ask me what I'm thinking about so we can have a nice conversation about, say, the transience of fame.
If I ignore you...
...don't pay me any attention whatsoever or try to get mine, because you'll irritate me. Just leave me to my own devices and let me come round when I want to.
If you see me crying...
...don't wipe my tears with a tissue. Sit down and ask me what's wrong.
Thing is, sentimental actions don't slide well with me. Bonus idiocy points if said sentimental actions actually piss me off more. I'd prefer someone who knows me and has their head screwed on correctly, even if they don't do all the traditional "romantic" things. Just someone smart with a lot of common sense. Please? Are they that hard to find? And why are they so maligned by 14-year-old girls who watch too many romantic movies? (For the record, I'm 15 and the most romantic thing I've ever watched was...umm...Amelie. Or maybe The Man With Two Brains.)
Me-language:
If I don't text you...
...it's not because I'm waiting for you to text me. It's because I don't really text much, and you're better off with an e-mail, a phone call, a message on Facebook or (best of all) a face-to-face meeting.
If I'm mad...
...for the love of whatever deity you worship, don't follow me when I storm out of the room in a blind rage. Let me cool down for 45 minutes and talk to me when I'm not hopping mad.
If I push or hit you...
...grabbing me is about the worst thing you can do, since you'll probably end up stabbed in the face or something equally nasty. Drop me, run like hell, and wait for 45 minutes to come back.
If I'm quiet...
...don't ask me what's wrong, because that'll just irritate me. Instead, ask me what I'm thinking about so we can have a nice conversation about, say, the transience of fame.
If I ignore you...
...don't pay me any attention whatsoever or try to get mine, because you'll irritate me. Just leave me to my own devices and let me come round when I want to.
If you see me crying...
...don't wipe my tears with a tissue. Sit down and ask me what's wrong.
Thing is, sentimental actions don't slide well with me. Bonus idiocy points if said sentimental actions actually piss me off more. I'd prefer someone who knows me and has their head screwed on correctly, even if they don't do all the traditional "romantic" things. Just someone smart with a lot of common sense. Please? Are they that hard to find? And why are they so maligned by 14-year-old girls who watch too many romantic movies? (For the record, I'm 15 and the most romantic thing I've ever watched was...umm...Amelie. Or maybe The Man With Two Brains.)
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