Stream-of-consciousness bawwwing
Title pretty much says it all. I'm having an...ah...let's call it a not-so-great period. (Strictly personal stuff. None of my family or friends have died, thank [insert deity here].) I've written about this before (shameless self-promotion internal links for the win! YAY!), and quite critically too. To stop myself from looking like a total idiot/hypocrite, I'm going to keep it to a minimum (and before you ask, yes, I have told my family and yes, I am trying to fix my problems). Thing is, I don't think I'd be being completely honest about my blog and its purpose - to post my random thoughts - if I kept this hidden. Actually, I don't think I'd be being completely honest about myself as a person if I kept this hidden - better to get this out in the open so I can fix it, right?
I'm going to try not to open my heart too much to the rest of the intarwebs (who will probably find my bawwing quite lulzy), so here goes.
Basically...
...It sucks not being able to talk to my peers about philosophy and politics.
...It sucks that the only people I can talk to about these things are adults and/or on the Internet.
...It sucks being a round peg in a square hole. (I switched those two round because I like circles, m'kay?)
...It sucks being alone in a crowd of people.
...It sucks questioning your life and value all the damn time.
...It sucks trying to be perfect and failing really, really hard.
It's stuff I live with. Compared to what other people have to go through, it's not major, but...it's just that it bugs me. A lot. And it really gets to me in the end.
Tomorrow I'll probably be better; I have some snarky stuff lined up and a lot of things (including revision) I have to do, so that'll keep my mind occupied. It's just that every so often I fall into one of these moods, and I can't really pretend that they don't exist.
I'm going to spam my blog and post this on the same day that I posted something else, because it's so transient. It doesn't stay for long, but it hits hard and picking up the pieces is worse.
I'm sorry.
Good night.
I'm going to try not to open my heart too much to the rest of the intarwebs (who will probably find my bawwing quite lulzy), so here goes.
Basically...
...It sucks not being able to talk to my peers about philosophy and politics.
...It sucks that the only people I can talk to about these things are adults and/or on the Internet.
...It sucks being a round peg in a square hole. (I switched those two round because I like circles, m'kay?)
...It sucks being alone in a crowd of people.
...It sucks questioning your life and value all the damn time.
...It sucks trying to be perfect and failing really, really hard.
It's stuff I live with. Compared to what other people have to go through, it's not major, but...it's just that it bugs me. A lot. And it really gets to me in the end.
Tomorrow I'll probably be better; I have some snarky stuff lined up and a lot of things (including revision) I have to do, so that'll keep my mind occupied. It's just that every so often I fall into one of these moods, and I can't really pretend that they don't exist.
I'm going to spam my blog and post this on the same day that I posted something else, because it's so transient. It doesn't stay for long, but it hits hard and picking up the pieces is worse.
I'm sorry.
Good night.
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