Grisia Sun vs. Edward Cullen

This idea has been rolling around in my head for a very, very long time now. It was getting quite lonely there on its own, so I decided to put it out of its misery and set it free for everyone to see...if they care to look.

Edward Cullen has superpowers and sparkles. Grisia doesn't have superpowers, but he definitely sparkles...and, since Edward is technically undead, Grisia is free to vent his unstoppable rage on the vampire, who is probably (like most, if not all, undead in the LSK-verse) vulnerable to holy magic.

Grisia: 1 Edward: 0

Grisia is a pervert, but he doesn't crawl into people's bedrooms and watch them while they sleep. EDWARD, THIS MEANS YOU.

Grisia: 2 Edward: 0

Grisia doesn't act abusively towards women.

Grisia: 3 Edward: 0

Edward can read minds. Therefore, he can read Grisia's mind and dodge his moves. OH SHI-

Grisia: 3 Edward: 1

Edward can uproot trees and move around like a blur. Grisia...well, he can't.

Grisia: 3 Edward: 2

Grisia could just sever an artery and let the blood flow out, spraying Edward with what must be the vampire equiivalent of fluoroantimonic acid. Obviously this would be a pretty dangerous technique, but effective as a last resort.

Grisia: 4 Edward: 2

Grisia also has the Shield of Earth, if I remember correctly from reading the third book using Google Translate. He could put that up and delay Edward, even if only for a short while.

Grisia: 5 Edward: 2

Bella is a damsel-in-distress who does NOTHING except get herself into trouble so a guy can save her. If Grisia killed Bella, he could weaken Edward...

Grisia: 6 Edward: 3

...or Edward could go into unstoppable-rage mode and snap Grisia's neck.

Grisia: 6 Edward: 4

If Edward tried to inject Grisia with his venom, instead of killing Grisia, the Sun Knight would be turned into an immortal, sparkly vampire with superpowers, who could still use holy magic and would now have an advantage over our bad-boy abuser. Shiiiiiiiit.

Grisia: 7 Edward: 4

Although Edward has telepathy, Grisia can assess his abilities and the elements he's made out of, and use this knowledge accordingly, especially to track Edward when he's moving too quickly to be seen normally.

Grisia: 8 Edward: 4

Theoretically, Grisia (who is very magically gifted) could pick up a shielding ability and use it to block Edward's telepathy.

Grisia: 9 Edward: 4

During a battle, Grisia basically rambles on in his head about almost completely unrelated subjects, so Edward would get pretty confused and be at a disadvantage.

Grisia: 10 Edward: 4

Grisia's stabbed horses to make them bolt, while Edward's messed around with his girlfriend's car engine to stop her from doing anything he doesn't approve of.

Grisia: 11 Edward: 4

Grisia has never offered someone sexually to someone else. Edward has.

Grisia: 12 Edward: 4

So in conclusion, Edward puts up a half-decent fight, but Grisia utterly curbstomps him, both physically (a better fighter) and morally.


  1. If Grisia dies, then Pink will bring him back as an undead as her apprentice (I remember Sun selling his afterlife to Pink)


Post a Comment