Stop Fucking Swearing!

I know rather a few people, most over a certain age, who have what can be politely termed issues with my frequent use of profanity. In less polite language, they think I should stop fucking swearing so much. They turn up their noses at it, saying that it's unnecessary, that it reduces my effective vocabulary, that it'll just teach me to swear at every turn and that - most annoyingly - I am influenced to swear by the men around me (because obviously, as a woman, I'm pure and innocent and incapable of doing anything without a big, strong man putting it into my head, right?).

Let me deal with each of these claims in turn and then explain just why I like to use profanity. First of all, a language that contained only necessary words would be a very poor language indeed. Even Latin, which is quite a straightforward, no-nonsense language, can still be quite flowery and embellished - far more flowery and embellished than English, in fact. Latin is a clean, terse language, yes, but it also has the advantage of being able to say far more in a few words than English ever could. By contrast, the simplest English, without any parts of speech other than the ones really needed, would be incredibly dull and (depending on how much you left out) sometimes unreadable. The fun of language - the thing that makes verse and prose come alive - isn't in only using words that are absolutely necessary, it's in taking words and phrases, in taking diction, connotations, pronunciation and all the rest of it, and crafting them into something that expresses things vividly and creatively. That simply can't be done in a language where only "necessary" words are allowed.

It could also be argued that every word used in the English language today is necessary, and that's why people keep using those words - because they find they have a purpose for expression. Swearing certainly helps people express things: I like to use the word "fucking" as an intensifier. I'll often swear if stressed or upset simply because it helps me to express just how stressed and upset I am. I'll use words like "bullshit" (not a swearword, though some of the older and more uptight generation say it is - they need to loosen their corsets!) because profane words have an edge to them, an edge that emphasises the message I'm trying to get across. To not use those words is to sanitise and perhaps to infantilise my language and expression. That's all very well for those who want language and expression infantilised, but there are some things that need expressing and which are probably rather inappropriate for the innocent child of the moral guardians' fantasies. (No, I'm not above messing around with diction to insult people I don't like. Not above it at all.) I'm not going to censor myself because a child might see me swear, and neither should anyone else. This is not a children's world.

Swearing also increases total vocabulary - this makes sense because you are putting in more words. You are not removing any. Profanity does not have the magical effect of somehow zapping ten words out of your vocabulary for every one swearword you put in, and is really quite useful for making hilarious (and effective) mental images.

The argument that using profanity once means I'll always use profanity is frankly - and slightly profanely - a piss-fucking-poor one. Profanity is like any other form of language: it is appropriate in some contexts and inappropriate in others. Just as you wouldn't wear shorts and a tank top at a white tie function, or a top hat and tails at the beach (unless you're trying to make a statement, in which case you must be dreadfully uncomfortable, you poor thing), some language is appropriate in some situations and not in others. Profanity has a time and a place - that's why it exists; people have found a use for it. Saying that if I use profanity once I'll never go back is like saying that if I start wearing flip-flops I'll never be able to stop wearing them, ever. It clearly doesn't work that way (most of this essay contains less swearing than I thought it would) and disregards people's ability to use their own judgement.

Finally, this last point isn't really about swearing but more about being a woman: I am neither pure nor innocent and I am quite capable of making my own decisions without a man deciding for me, because I am an autonomous, sapient being. Being a cis woman does not affect that.

I will decide how, when and where to swear. It's no crime, not even an imaginary one, since no-one is hurt or killed. I don't use racist/sexist/ableist/etc. slurs (never used a racist slur, stopped using sexist and ableist slurs a long time ago), so my swearing doesn't oppress anyone. It is a choice I make for myself and I would be the poorer without it.

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