BAWWW EMO WHINING

Ah, Facebook. I won't call it the most pointless site on earth, because that would actually be a compliment. Instead, I'll try and describe it as it really is: a place where people baww about their lives, post crappy song lyrics, tell you pointless shit that nobody needs to know, make up passive-aggressive statuses to get desperately needed attention, and indulge themselves in clichés that were already pretty tired about 65 million years ago. It's also incredibly addictive and actually has useful shit mixed in with all the crap, which is what makes it so frustrating.


I've just been on it and, as you can see, it's caused a severe drop in my IQ and a bad mood to match - hence the profanity. This was only caused by ONE thing (if it had been caused by more, I think my head would have exploded out of sheer rage - is that a good or a bad thing? Take my speculation as you will).


I shall now analyse this one thing in detail and, hopefully, come up with an awesome rebuttal to it. Spelling mistakes and general idiocy were there in the original, so don't blame me.


EDIT: There are too many crappy like pages to keep track of. I'll just quote them as they come.


Dear "Real Girls",
If u want to go your whole life not caring about ur appearance,not going out and having a life and not having a boyfriend, then fine have fun :) 
But dont dare try to judge the girls who do wear make up to feel pretty,that like to have nice hair,that go out with their friends and have the times of their lives,and that wear short dresses to flatter their bodies that they work hard to keep in shape. 
Sincerely, the bitches ur obviously so jelous of :)



dear girls;
STFU D:<
Nobody is fake for dying their hair or putting on makeup.
it's called trying to look nice.
Nobody's "real"
So shut up
:3
Sincerely.
nobody cares



Page analysis time! (Before I start off, I'm a "Real Girl"/geek and therefore understandably biased - but I don't think the critiques are justified very much, if at all.)
I'll look at the first one to begin with.


I think the page creators have made their opponents into strawmen just a little...don't you? I'll try and describe this from my geeky perspective.


I, as a geeky girl, do care about my appearance, especially when I go out with my friends (which I do, but not often, for reasons which I will discuss later), but I don't enjoy using up my precious time to prettify myself: I find it uncomfortable and I have better things to do, like discussing politics, drawing, writing and learning for pleasure (which, contrary to popular belief, does not mark one out as having no life: it marks one out as having an interest in the world at large). It's largely a question of priorities. So please bother to check your facts BEFORE you misrepresent us. This, by the way, is a recurring theme and you would do well to pay attention to it.


As I've already touched on, "not going out" and "not having a life" are not synonyms. Those of us who tend not to go out might be introverts or enjoy doing quiet, reflective things. If you've heard of the latter and assumed that they're just a way to tell people to stop having fun, some people like racking their brains, being creative and generally doing solitary stuff. It's probably too much of a generalisation to say that all these things are along the lines of self-improvement (not all of us "Real Girls" are wise sages), but they are on the lines of drawing things out of yourself and trying to expand and develop on them. It's difficult to describe to other people because it's a very personal thing (and yes, I realise I've slowly been turning into a New Age guru over the course of this paragraph, but it's quite difficult to describe one's thought processes, and the way these thought processes work, in detail). Some of us might not go out because we need to work and pass our exams and put that above seeing friends - or we might not see our friends that much due to going to different schools, living in different countries, any number of things...for example, some of my friends go to different schools (including one who goes to boarding school) and my own school has quite punishing hours compared to most other schools in Britain. Combined with the fact that I need to work hard to pass my exams so I can go to a decent university and get a job that won't slowly suck away my soul and the fact that I'm just plain introverted, that explains why I don't go out much.
As for having a life? That's a pretty vague taunt - it is a taunt, stuck in there to imply that because we're not extroverts we must automatically be boring people, and since it has very little definite meaning I can't do much with it. That doesn't mean the page creators have won, it means they're deliberately painting with broad brushstrokes and using clichés devoid of meaning because they're difficult to argue a specific point against. It's pretty much hot air. Oh well, since some retard who comes across this might assume that because I've got nothing to say the page creators have won, I'll do my best to rebut whatever is in that godawful excuse for a point - because a taunt is not a legitimate argument and never will be.
Having a life means you do something fun, productive and healthy during your time on this Earth. Fun, as has already been implied - but I'll state it explicitly - is a subjective concept: different people enjoy different things, and no one person is in any position to judge what other people find fun. It's especially worth pointing out because later the page creators say "But dont dare try to judge" (sic), essentially making the statement "We can judge what should be found fun, but you can't, because for various random and subjective reasons we're better than you". Regarding productivity, thinking deeply and creating things tend to be slightly more useful and productive than getting wasted - and doing stupid stuff while under the influence isn't exactly the healthiest thing to do, so on balance, I think the points go to the "Real Girls" so far.


Regarding boyfriends - not all of us need a man as a status symbol, and I as a "Real Girl" long ago decided that if the way to get a boyfriend was to act slightly retarded, be submissive and waste time I could have used writing or thinking on doing my hair and make-up, I'd prefer to stay myself and single. If keeping my personality intact and not selling out means staying a virgin forever, then that's what it takes. I'm not saying that I won't feel some regret over not having a sex life, I'm saying that yet again it's a question of priorities. Some of us "Real Girls" put finding ourselves above finding ourselves boyfriends, and we're not prepared to look stupid, orange or both to get them. (And yes, just so you know, looking orange/like a porcelain doll does NOT make you look pretty - it makes you look creepy as fuck, and some of us think you would look better with some imperfections because at least then you would look like humans instead of overgrown toys.)


Now, to the "don't you dare judge us"...bit. The start is pretty laughable considering you've been not-so-subtly judging us throughout the entire first paragraph, or rather, judging our strawmen. To those who actually take the time to think it over (and trust me, geeky girls like yours truly will), you look like a bunch of hypocrites. 


All apologies now to the genuinely nice girls out there with nice bodies and dyed hair who like to go party, because the more spiteful (and, from what I can make of this message, more retarded) girls in your number are going to get it coming to them.


Us "Real Girls" are not conservatives or nuns (some of us are, some of us aren't) and we don't begrudge anyone hair dye or makeup. Like I've said, it's not that we don't like to be pretty, it's that looking good isn't as important to us as it is to you. We don't begrudge you boyfriends, or hedonism, or nice clothes. In fact, we don't begrudge you anything. It's just that some of you - and there are far too many of those people - piss us off.


As a geeky girl - no, just as a girl with some self-respect and taste - I get pissed off by girls who wear so much make-up they look creepy; who have shittily done highlights that make them look cheap; who get stuck trying to figure out what 1+1 is; who do retarded things for attention and post them up for the world to see; who only care about what hot boys think; who can't even look properly sexy and try to replicate the effect by wearing as little as possible without being functionally naked.


I have nothing to say about those people, because calling them people is probably an insult to the entire human race. (Sorry, human race.) Besides, I'm almost at the end of the first like and it's nearly time to wrap up.


I don't see why a term originally used to denote inferiority and which now means a spiteful girl is being used positively. I put it down to the page creators obviously not being too smart. Having a penchant for dishing out misery is not something anyone should be proud of, but they seem to have missed the memo...and look, they've gone and chucked in a psychological excuse for their opponents disagreeing with them. How sweet.


Let me do my "as a geeky girl" shtick for the last time analysing this like. As a geeky girl, I'm not jealous of you or your lifestyle in the least little bit. If I truly wanted it, I would have completely changed my habits and personality to accommodate said lifestyle. But I don't envy you. I don't even hate most party people and extroverts. I hate the shallow, bitchy and not-particularly-smart people who made this page, and I hate them with a passion for making the rest of the female sex and the rest of the human race look like a bunch of worthless idiots.


The rest of the geeky girls are with me.


Now, to the next page. This will be much shorter, because the creator was somehow even stupider. It starts off by telling what can only be assumed to be all girls, everywhere, to shut the fuck up, because apparently something they say or do pisses the creator off so, so much he (not intending any misandry here, I'm just using it as a stand-in pronoun) loses the function of speech - or maybe, knowing the average intelligence of Facebook posters, he didn't have the ability to make logical points in the first place. If he did, he probably would have used it.


Ah, he makes a logical point here trying to tell us that nobody's fake for putting on makeup or dyeing their hair! The sad thing is that 98% of people agree with him, the 2% that don't are almost certainly the ones he's not referring to, and he's probably exaggerated a reasonable point about shitty highlighting or orange make-up. Remember, strawmen are bad and proof that you can't tackle somebody's actual argument head-on.


Next he says 'Nobody's "real"' (sic). Don't ask me why he put the quotes in, ask him if you think you can get a coherent answer - I myself doubt it. But I digress: some people most certainly are real, as in they don't put on fake personalities or try and change themselves to be accepted. We all know at least one: they might be the weird kid or the really nice girl that everyone loves, or they might be you. So their real-world existence clearly contradicts the theoretical statement, and so the latter is proven wrong for all time. The creator then uses this statement - already proven false - to tell everyone to shut up. Not only is that a non sequitur, it's a non sequitur which is clearly wrong. Then he says nobody cares. Well, obviously someone does, otherwise why would he have written it?! (Facebook users are generally too simple to conceive of trolling.)


I am well aware that I have just spent over an hour responding to two Facebook pages. What can I say? I thoroughly destroyed their points, proved them wrong, worked out my rage, racked my brains deeply over subjective notions and made myself a better person. :)


Sometimes we all need a little diversion: a pointless hobby, a bit of idleness to engage in. It relaxes you. And then, when you're in a serious mood again, you can look back on it and laugh - but remember that you've learnt things too.

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